I just recently read in People that Kathy Hilton had a hard time seeing daughter Paris in jail because "seeing the rashes on her arms and face from the thin sheets."

Rashes from the freaking sheets? Are you kidding me?

Paris Hilton

For Paris's homecoming, her mother wished to comfort the Simple Life star, so she set up a room in what, she said, "used to be the baby nursery for the grandchildren at [Paris's grandfather's] house. I had fresh, really soft towels, and really soft sheets and one of those really soft, cuddly [blankets] called 'my blankey,' and nice soft pillow cases."

Kathy Hilton's rationale, she said, was that Paris - who currently is "spending time with her cousins in Malibu getting ready to go back to work" - had "been in jail, obviously with the very thin sheets and one pillow and one little thin blanket. That's how [inmates] get rashes. It feels like sandpaper."

Paris's reaction to all this softness, says her mother, was that "she went in, and she looked at the Fresh Farms soap, and she looked at the towels and the Evian water by her bedside. I wanted to make her feel really welcome. And we went downstairs and made a sandwich. And she ran outside with her doggie. And she ran, and she was screaming, 'Oh, this feels so good. I feel so lucky.' "

People

Oh and she ran and ran. It's like an episode of Lassie or Heidi. All I have to say is bravo to the Judge for keeping her there.

My money says Paris was doing lines of cocaine hours later, laughing about how she's fooled us all.

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