The Wide World of Britney Spears

In Britney Spears world it's been pretty crazy for the last few days unless you have a roadmap.

Her Partying

Britney tried to get out of doing random drug tests. My guess is because she wants to do drugs again. Possibly.

Britney Spears' attorney filed a motion to change the singer's twice-weekly random drug testing at a hearing for her ongoing custody battle with ex Kevin Federline October 26 in L.A. Superior Court, according to court papers released Tuesday.

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Her Kids

Britney is also not getting shared custody of the kids again. The judge just granted two day-time visits a week and one overnight visit. She was even told that she needed to keep doing the random drug tests or she'll lose visitation. As for her parenting skills, it seems that Britney isn't doing well in that area.

Usmagazine.com has learned that in last Friday's custody hearing the court-appointed parenting coach, Lisa Hacker, reported that when they are with their mother, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, have no real schedule or routine. Hacker explains, "The environment in the house ranges from chaotic to almost somber with little communication at all."

She added, "During all three of my visits, [Spears] rarely engaged with the children in conversation or play." Hacker also noted, however, that Spears's parenting lapses are nothing she "would characterize as abusive in a traditional sense."

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Is the coach saying this is "non-traditional abuse" or something? Is ignoring your kid abuse now? I thought it was just beatings that were abusive. Now you can't even babysit with Mr. Nintendo? Stupid world

Now Brit is supposed to get her place childproofed by November 2, meet with coach Hacker for two hours every week, and always put her kids securely in their car seats when she drives them. I'm not kidding on that last one, but in her defense...she's country.

Her Album

And Britney's album is doing suprisingly well with people that believe she really sings. I'm actually kind of shocked. Maybe even very shocked. I could get that it might be good and I was unduly harsh, but being hailed as a "masterpiece" seems pretty extreme. I'm just saying.

The AP's music writer describes the club-y 12-song disc as, "not only a very good album, [but] it's her best work ever - a triumph, with not a bad song to be found."

The BBC went on to hail Spears' song "Piece of Me" (with lyrics like: "I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17" and "Guess I can't see no harm in working and being a mama") as a "masterpiece."

Even reviews that diss Spears' can't help but fawn a little. The Chicago Tribune's critic writes, "Blackout is by far the most musically accomplished of Spears' five studio albums" before slamming her as being "devoid of personality."

"Gimme More," the first single from Spears' fifth album, is number 13 on this week's Billboard's Hot 100 chart and Blackout is currently ranked the number one most downloaded album on iTunes.

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Her Past

And finally Brit's former assistant reveals that Brit tried and failed to get K-Fed back, got really depressed and crazy

Machado's conclusion? "She needs mental help," she says.

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