Mass Britney News: Lynne Prays, Dad Cries, Dr Phil Talks, and that Adnan Dude
In the every wild world of As The Spears Turns...
Britney Spears's mother is asking for "prayers" following the news of her daughter's hospitalization.
Britney's mother Lynne Spears is "extremely distraught" and wants people to pray for her daughter. Or maybe that's daughters. They're both kinda screwy. Anyway, Lynne is upset and very, very worried about the whole matter. I suppose we could all pray, but that's not my thing. I will bleed a chicken and then dance naked around a fire invoking the spirits of vengeance though. It's pretty much the same thing.
Britney's father Jamie Spears was so upset about everything going on that he cried. It's being said that he "doesn't know what to do" and therefore he doesn't know how to help resolve the situation. I could give some advice to the confused guy, which might just be helpful in resolving all his troubles. It seems to have worked for me a few times. First, what you need to do is get a chicken and a really sharp knife. Then you light a nice big fire in the backyard...
Now therapist Dr. Phil McGraw is jumping in the ring to help Britney. Supposedly he's taping a show with Britney's parents real soon. Yeah...that will help her. UPDATE: CANCELLED. He's also been taking phone calls and meeting with the family about doing a "medical and psychological intervention" to help. I'm pretty sure Brit won't listen, but whatever. I'm no expert in all that business. I do think Dr. Phil has a great cowboy name because I am an expert in cowboys though. It reminds me of that old cartoon horse with the gun, Quickdraw McGraw.
Meanwhile, Britney Spears slipped under the radar and has been hanging out again with that photographer Adnan Ghalib who works for Finalpixx. He's married supposedly, but that's not stopping the pair. They stayed in a hotel before and they're doing it again. If you interpret "doing it" as something sexual, then you'd probably be right. Whenever times get tough for Britney, she gets naked. If only she had a chicken...things would probably work out rather well.
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This entry was posted on Monday, January 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am and is filed under Celebrity Gossip. You can follow any responses to this entry through the Comments RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
