Jennifer Love Hewitt Gives Advice to Men
Jennifer Love Hewitt is giving men some advice on how women think in this month's Esquire magazine. Well, I decided to do a little "he said" and"she said" to provide the counter-points from the man's perspective.
1. PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse.
Huh? A great excuse for what? Being mad? Not having sex? Cutting off our penis?
2. We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat.
Not a real mystery here because we know all this. You'd probably forget to put the cap back on so really, we're just saving ourselves some hassle in the long run.
3. We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?
You're the slut we'd rather be with obviously. Duh! Don't say it like it's a bad thing baby...
4. We're smart enough to know that smell is always the dog.
Without any reference what this is referring to, I am going to have to indeed blame the dog.
5. Yes, we can dish it out.
Sure you can. Usually all irrational and full of crazy emotion, but you definitely do dish it.
6. No, we can't take it.
No kidding. I think we figured this one out right after we started walking on two legs.
7. We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them.
Since when does the motherly instinct get clouded up by rules? Either you want to be a nurturer or you don't. I could say I want to fix stuff for people, just not your stuff. That would be rude, wouldn't it? Now go make me a sandwich.
8. Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.
The first part about talking is right, except we don't really listen. We tune you out while holding a serious look of concern on our face. The whole time we're assessing what our chances are of getting sex later. If we at least seem to pay attention, we get a treat. We learned that from the dog too (see question #4).
9. When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like.
If you're dating a guy that's had "work" done, then he's probably gay. Just an FYI.
10. When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie.
Done and done.
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