Just for the record, I have never considered Juliette Lewis attractive in even the slightest. Not in any movie. Not in any picture. Never.

I figured one day you and I could be hanging out together having drinks and some good times so perhaps you should know.

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"Oh look Spencey! Cameras! We're soooo popular. Tee hee hee."

That's pretty much all I can imagine Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt saying now with each one of these contrived photo events they seem to have. It's so annoying that I just want to stick the big foam finger right up...well, you know. I will say the shot above of Heidi eating that popsicle is strangely arousing though, but I can tell she's the type that only works the tip. That's a big minus in the points column if you know what I mean.

So blah, blah, blah...here's the pair putting a stain on the sport of baseball.

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Oh Teri Hatcher! You have a special place in my loins forever since you acted on Lois & Clark back in the day. Now you're a Desperate Housewife and I have no idea why, because your still darn hot for your age. People always want to say that your face has changed and you don't look so great anymore, but I always defend you by mentioning people should ignore your face and just admire the body. Besides, turning off the bedroom lights would make you the equal of a sexy young babe..only older and with some wrinkles of course. Yeah...I'm a romantic. Call me.

Teri Hatcher at the American Idol finale:

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Denise Richards is everywhere now trying to promote her new reality show Denise Richards: It's Complicated and also show the world that she's a struggling single-mother with a terrible ex-husband. yesterday I mentioned that she did The Today Show and The View, but she also hit Larry King Live to mention that she was only doing the show to make money to support her children. It's hard to survive these days...

But, "Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support," a Sheen insider fumed. "Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can't?"

In addition to the child support, Richards got $60,000 a month (also tax-free) for two years in alimony - adding up to a whopping $1.44 million. Richards also gets a chunk of Sheen's hot sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," which "eventually will net her up to $25 million," the source said.

Source

Denise has also been trying to defend herself in the email scandal where she asked for ex-husband Charlie to be a baby donor. I've named the matter Spermgate. She's claimed the email is "not legitimate" and is "doctored" citing that she would have asked for Richie Sambora's sperm if anything. The thing is that she and Sambora broke up mid-March and the email is dated April 3rd. Take that!

Oh yeah, she hit MTV's TRL too.

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Madonna was at Cannes yesterday wearing a see-thru dress and showing off her joy buttons. Like that one? I just made it up. I'm awesome! Anyway, she was attending the the I Am Because We Are premiere and as usual she decided to be a bit racy. Nothing new though because Madonna always does something to attract attention from wearing breast-cones to kissing other women. Yawn...

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Sarah Michelle Geller is following a growing trend of getting naked for PETA. Our own campaign for change that I mentioned some time back is not doing so well and I'm ashamed to say that nobody has sent any photos. It's called Beings Rescuing Earth And Sky Today or B.R.E.A.S.T and we focus on saving the thousands of clouds that disappear at an alarming rate daily without a trace. Most of the world simply fails to notice this activity and seem to think that clouds don't matter.

Without clouds, we wouldn't have shade, rain, and big fluffy bear...rabbit...car-looking thingy shapes floating overhead. Not only that, in some places clouds are being abused with silver nitrates to forcefully bloat them into producing more moisture for human usage and consumption. This "harvesting" is just wrong. I'm calling on everyone to send us naked pictures for the campaign so we can get the world's attention.

Save The Clouds. Save the World.

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