Oh Teri Hatcher! You have a special place in my loins forever since you acted on Lois & Clark back in the day. Now you're a Desperate Housewife and I have no idea why, because your still darn hot for your age. People always want to say that your face has changed and you don't look so great anymore, but I always defend you by mentioning people should ignore your face and just admire the body. Besides, turning off the bedroom lights would make you the equal of a sexy young babe..only older and with some wrinkles of course. Yeah...I'm a romantic. Call me.

Teri Hatcher at the American Idol finale:

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Paula Abdul was a bit confused during last night's American Idol show regarding Jason Castro, who I can't believe is still there. Let me start with my confessionn that just as I mentioned somewhere at the start of the season...I've gotten bored with the show. Tune in to hear them sing songs by Mariah Carey or Andrew Lloyd Webber? I don't think so. Anyway, normally Paula barely gets out a full sentence and seems pretty confused. Last night was no exception.

What the heck was going on last night? With the top five contestants - Jason Castro, David Cook, Brooke White, David Archuleta and Syesha Mercado - each singing two Neil Diamond tunes, Tuesday's altered American Idol format must have thrown Paula Abdul for a loop!

After the contestants sang their first song, the judges had a chance to quickly give their first impressions before the contestants sang a second selection. At this point, a rushed and confused Paula started reading her notes and told Jason, "The second song, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty and the two songs made me feel like you're not fighting hard enough to get into the top four."

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The problem? Jason Castro had only performed once.

Before the show, the two probably had a showdown. Jason slammed a beer and Paula had some of her special orange juice. Jason followed that up an smoked some herb, while Paula headed right for the good prescription stuff and swallowed a few pills. Winner = Paula.

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American Idol Kelly Clarkson is all about showing her hot naked body to people. Us Weekly is saying that she loves walking around her home totally naked, no matter who's around.

This tidbit includes not just when close friends are around, but even when her home is "filled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings," reports the magazine.

Kelly explains why: "I just really like being naked," Clarkson reportedly tells visitors with a shrug, according to Us Weekly.

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For some reason I'm not really turned on sexually, but rather hungry for muffin-tops. Strange.

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Britney Spears was so touched at watching Idol Gives Back last night that she asked her dad, the lord commander of her money, if she could use her American Express card to make a $25,000 donation. She really was touched learning about the children in Africa suffering from Malaria.

"She did it all on her own. She watched the show and cried for like two hours over the children in Africa with malaria," a Spears family insider tells Life & Style.

"She didn't know much about the disease, so she Googled it. She was horrified to realize kids were dying from mosquito bites.

"So she went online and donated after getting [her dad] Jamie's permission. She used her Amex."

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So I've learned a few things from this little story:

1) Britney actually can use a computer and Google things so she should have no excuse for not knowing her vagina was making as many appearances as she was.

2) She was upset about kids in Africa suffering, but yet she had two kids that came from her own body living in her rich-ass mansion that she fed chips & soda while ignoring them to such a degree that she eventually lost custody. She's an idiot.

3) I like the comment about "she did it all on her own" being mentioned. Clearly those family insiders around her think she's an idiot too.

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Well, Ramiele Malubay was voted off American Idol last night and I can honestly say I saw this one coming. She was in the bottom three with Brooke White (who I still like a lot) and Kristy Lee Cook who probably should have gone home a few weeks ago. Kristy has to be one of the next to go I'm sure. I'm still struggling with my top picks and here they are so far (and my nicknames for them):

• Michael Johns (Aussie)
• David Cook (Rooster)
• David Archuleta (Breather)

The list above is ordered by my personal favorites.

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Chikezie was sent packing last night on American Idol and that sucks. Not that I thought he was as amazing as that David kid, but I thought he was an underdog so I liked him. of course that sneaky little Kristy Lee Cook should have been out, but like Simon said...singing "God Bless The USA" was the best song choice of all time. She had to get votes after that because if you didn't, then you're not a patriotic American. You'd be sent to Guantanamo Bay as a terrorist.

Chikezie was in the bottom three this week with dreadlock-stoner Jason Castro and Syesha Mercado. Damn I hate this show sometimes!

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