Now this is just stupid and Ashton Kutchner is trying way too hard for his Pop Fiction show. I like Kathy Griffin, but I would never believe she was banging Adnan Gahlib let alone having a serious date with him.

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Patrice had mentioned that Paris Hilton was going to have a new reality show where people will compete to be her new best friend. The auditions were held in New York just recently and it turns out that hardly anyone showed up. I think that actually made me chortle. I never chortle. Wow.

Actually, it didn't even resemble a half-price latte sale at your local Starbucks.

"There were less than 40 people there," one audition insider tells OK!. But despite the poor turnout, each of the hopefuls seemed ready to show their unique desire to grab the attention of the casting directors. "There were girls wearing matching pastel prom dresses with Swarovski crystal pendants and updos, ghetto-fabulous girls and two goth-inspired girls with bleach blonde hair, pale makeup, eyelash extensions and leather clothing."

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A show about attention-whores competing to see who's more of an attention-whore that will get to hang out with another attention-whore? Sounds really stupid and boring.

I have a better reality show idea and Aurora is going to be the co-writer. It's called Paris and the Cheetah. So far we only have 2 episodes written though so we're trying to make the season longer. The first episode is titled Run Girl, Run and the second is called Should Have Had Better Shoes. Any producers out there? Call us!

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This video from VH1's Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp has Erin Moran who used to play Joannie on Happy Days (Ron Howard was her older brother Richie) and her boyfriend was Chachie (aka Scott Baio). They actually got a spin-off show and for a while...Scott was nailing her in real life too. Maybe she was having a flashback. You know...like war veterans do.

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Celebu-tard Paris Hilton was in Cape Town attending the My Coke Fest concert with boyfriend (sort of) Benji Madden. She was staying at some fancy hotel and she was looking to buy stuff with her almighty American dollar.

A hotel spy tells us: "Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, 'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"

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Would it run away from me. What a dolt. In fact, I am secretly hoping she does get a cheetah so that we'll be greeted with the news that it pulled a Sigfried & Roy on her. Is wishing some to be mauled by a wild hunting cat really that wrong?

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Woody Harrelson is hanging out with Owen Wilson in Hawaii at the moment and like all good friends do, Woody gets naked and takes a nice dip with Owen. Then when he gets out, he's tosses the whole world "the mule." I swear he must be stoned. Only being stoned would you think something like that is funny.

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I hate it when the neighbor's dog comes to my yard and craps on the lawn. It makes me want to give them a flaming poo-bag on their doorstep. It seems that Dane Cook is one of those crappy neighbors.

Cook is at war with the owners of the West Hollywood apartment complex where he lives for not picking up after his dog, Beast. "Neither he nor his girl friend pick up after the dog," said a source. "They've sent him three notices so far over the last year warning him he'll be evicted, and they have video. The neighbors all hate him." The landlord has now filed a complaint in court.

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What an ass. Come on Dane, pick up the poo will you? Call it poopy-poo if it will make it easier for you. Oh...and stop stealing jokes

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