Now how interesting is this? It turns out that Barack Obama is a distant cousin of Brad Pitt. Even more interesting is that Hillary Rodham Clinton is actually related to Angelina Jolie. Of course Clinton was hit repeatedly with the ugly branch of the family tree. Oh...I'm going to Hell now.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769.

Obama is also related to plenty of other political powerhouses. Have a look.

Obama has a prolific presidential lineage that features Democrats and Republicans. His distant cousins include President George W. Bush and his father, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry S. Truman and James Madison. Other Obama cousins include Vice President Dick Cheney, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill and Civil War General Robert E. Lee.

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I find all this quite amazing so I did some of my own research. Turns out Keith Malley and Brother Love are both super distant cousins of mine so go buy a t-shirt from both of them. Maybe an album or two. One is hilarious and the other will rock your house down. I don't really have the documentation to back up the whole relation thing, but I just feel it. You know what I'm saying?

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I just spent the last little while laughing my ass off and figured since it's Friday, I should share with all of you. If there's one 'ting I could say, it's that I really wish they made superhero underoos in my size. If there's a second 'ting...it's that Keith Malley is one funny MoFo. I don't mean like funny ha ha either. I mean funny HA HA!

Normally you'd have to go get a money order and send it off hoping to get your goods in the mail, but not this time! Thankfully someone invented a little something called the Internet and some other four-eyed guys invented the iPod. Now you just follow my linky underneath and go download his albums using the power God intended us to have. After all, it's why He created streaming porn movies. Quit reading this and go get some laughs already!

Keith Malley on iTunes

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I found more pictures of Pam Anderson floating around from the All Star Gala and Party to benefit the AROD Family Foundation and the Bay Point Schools event that really show the horror show that is now Pam's face. I'll admit that at one time I thought she was worth of some sexual attention, but now *shudder* I would rather do some gay touching on Keith Malley. Not only would it be more stimulating in some weird way, but then he'd knock me right the hell out with a single punch and I wouldn't have to see this Baywatch nightmare anymore.

ps) If you want to learn more about hetero dudes that do fake gay touching, then go listen to Keith and The Girl sucker! Specifically, show #664.

What? You need more proof?

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Dane Cook recently told MTV that he wants to do some action movies. I bet that if he does one, it will have great lines like "I'll be back" and "Make my day" in them. Those lines have been taken already you say? Yeah, well so have some of the jokes that Dane Crook tells in his routines. That's never stopped him before.

Believe it, Cook teased, saying he's getting ready to give the Superfinger to crime in "Dead Already," a buddy cop movie "in the vein of ‘Lethal Weapon.'"

"It's got a really interesting take-off from the typical buddy cop movie which has been done in so many ways. This definitely had an element that was like, ‘Wow, I've never seen that before,'" he said of the script, which he's currently looking at as a starring vehicle. "You got some crazy stunts and action sequences, but you got some comedy in there too. We'll see if we can get it off the ground, but I certainly would like to play in that area."

Stunts, action, and humor? I think he's right! I've never seen that stuff in a movie before. That is an interesting angle.

"I just watched ‘Lethal Weapon' the other day and it's like, if you watch that movie now it's incredible how it goes from being really funny and silly to really tragic. There's some wild stuff in there," Cook said of the film's tone, one he wants to strike with "Dead Already." "I forgot how many scenes in this movie are dealing with suicide and all kinds of insane, heavy topics. Then all of a sudden he's being wacky and doing Three Stooges. I haven't seen anything like that in an action movie since. I'd love to see or be a part of a movie that pulls that off again."

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Wait...what? You want to do heavy topics than shift to being wacky in a movie that "pulls that off again?" Is he saying that he saw someone's stuff and he wants to do a version of that? That would be like stealing wouldn't it? Like for example, you hear a joke...let say it's about getting new shoes, only you change it to getting new boots and then use it. That's like stealing, right? Maybe I don't understand this show business thing...

I think I'm going to order some Keith Malley DVDs and then I could become a comic too. I didn't know it was so easy!

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Pam Anderson and Denise Richards did the movie Blond and Blonder last year and now they might get even closer...in the pages of Playboy.

Reports in the US suggest the two blondes have been offered $1million to strip for Playboy... together.

It wouldn't be the first time either had got naked for the top shelf mag. Bond girl Denise posed in 2004 and Pammi started her career with Playboy and has done shoots through her career.

A source told a US magazine: "Neither Pam nor Denise has committed yet, but they're seriously considering it."

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So a million dollars will probably draw them in to pose. Denise needs the money in her divorce battle with Charlie Sheen and Pam certainly could use a bit more cash in her quest for "sugical beauty." I really don't want to see Pam naked and I don't want to see Denise naked either.

Super-comic Keith Malley probably will check them out though. He likes to challenge himself to see if he could "self-pleasure" to really weird crap. Last time I saw Pam naked...it certainly qualified as really weird.
Even still - Keith = 1 / Pam & Denise = 0

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