Paris Hilton was spotted out last night and she looked suspiciously pregnant. I swear she's doing this to screw with Nicole Richie. Nicole starts dating on of those Madden dudes, Paris dates his brother. Nicole falls in love and bingo, Paris is in love too. Nicole has a kid, and now maybe...?

Soon Paris is going to give her hair the same cut and color as Nicole and start telling people she's Paris Richie. Crazy damn broad.

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Paris Hilton is saying that she's totally in love with boyfriend Benji Madden and she wants to be with him "forever."

Paris Hilton has her sights set spending "forever" with beau Benji Madden.

"We talk about [marriage]. I'm so happy. I'm so in love. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with Benji, my boyfriend," the 27-year-old heiress told David Letterman (watch above).

"I know I want to be with him forever," she added. "If you saw us together, you'd understand."

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I'm wondering if Paris realizes that "forever" is longer then a year and that loving a person is actually different than loving a dress or makeup. I hope they do get married just so i can say "told ya so" when they get divorced soon after.

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Just in case you don't know what to get your daughter/niece/younger sister for a present, how about a Steffi Love doll! After all...Paris Hilton herself is restyling the doll because she's just so fabulous.

Steffi is being completly restyled, but not just by anyone, but by the fashion and styling queen, Paris Hilton herself styles Steffi for her perfect summer day. The set includes leisure fashion for the day, a bikini for the beach, a glamurous party outfit and additional accessories and bags for Steffi.

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Not mentioned were some of the other accessories like a mini mirror and straw for cocaine, a video camera for homemade porn tapes, and herpes.

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Paris Hilton has come up with a new way to make some cash. She wants to marry Benji Madden while her friend Nicole Richie marries his brother Joel Madden. Nicole and Joel are actually engaged, while Benji is probably just learning about this in the press and that's pure love at it's best.

The heirhead, who is dating Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden, now wants to have a double wedding with best friend Nicole Richie, who is engaged to Madden's brother Joel. Hilton, who is not even engaged to Benji, said she wants to do it in order to sell the pictures from the wedding and thinks she could rake in millions, said one pal. "She's doing it all for attention, as usual," said the friend. "It's a publicity stunt, just like everything else."

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In the past, Paris made cash by doing other things just as lame so this really isn't a stretch. See if you can identify one other method:

1) giving oral on video
2) using her name for a nightclub
3) doing nothing
4) making an album

Hmmm, I picked four totally random things and she's made money doing all of those. Okay...my example sucks.

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Paris Hilton recently insulted Kim Kardashian publicly. Actually she insulted Kim's trademark round booty specifically. Paris had said:

"I would not want [Kim's butt] - it's gross!" Paris told a Las Vegas radio show on April 14. "It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag."

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Ouch! Now Paris says she was just messing around and made a stupid joke so she apologized. Seriously Paris? That was a joke and not an insult? Are you sure? I don't think you would notice the subtle difference between the two. You're kind of dopey sometimes might be a joke, but a bag of rocks has more brains than you do and a better personality is an insult.

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Patrice had mentioned that Paris Hilton was going to have a new reality show where people will compete to be her new best friend. The auditions were held in New York just recently and it turns out that hardly anyone showed up. I think that actually made me chortle. I never chortle. Wow.

Actually, it didn't even resemble a half-price latte sale at your local Starbucks.

"There were less than 40 people there," one audition insider tells OK!. But despite the poor turnout, each of the hopefuls seemed ready to show their unique desire to grab the attention of the casting directors. "There were girls wearing matching pastel prom dresses with Swarovski crystal pendants and updos, ghetto-fabulous girls and two goth-inspired girls with bleach blonde hair, pale makeup, eyelash extensions and leather clothing."

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A show about attention-whores competing to see who's more of an attention-whore that will get to hang out with another attention-whore? Sounds really stupid and boring.

I have a better reality show idea and Aurora is going to be the co-writer. It's called Paris and the Cheetah. So far we only have 2 episodes written though so we're trying to make the season longer. The first episode is titled Run Girl, Run and the second is called Should Have Had Better Shoes. Any producers out there? Call us!

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