Okay, it's not breast cancer, world hunger, or children without homes. It's the Paris Hilton needs to spoil herself cause and that's just as good too, right?

I'm so glad about all the humility she learned in jail. She looked at life differently, wanted to take on a cause and do better things.

The first thing she did is go on Larry King and lie point blank when asked about doing drugs. Ummmm, the internet has pictures of you hitting the pipe you dumbass...

So now she's back at work on her image, which includes a good natural tan. Then it will be the club and party scene all over again. She's such a lying idiot.

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So poor Paris Hilton decided to get over the post-jail blues by heading to Hawaii. Even with her amazing disguise conceived in secret late one night, people still knew it was her. She still trying to figure out how people cracked her code.

She went with the following:

• giant straw hat
• black wig
• her normal sunglasses
• a baggy dress

Once in a while something comes out that is just totally stupid and you feel like you've lost time in your day unfairly. Yeah, this is one of those times. You're welcome.

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Of course we all knew this right? Paris Hilton goes to jail and in the first few days she's crying, saying anything to get out, not eating, and then TA-DA....claiming she's a changed person. It's just so classic.

Hilton, 26, who was released at 12:01 a.m. from Los Angeles' Century Regional Detention Facility, had a 9:30 at-home appointment this morning with DreamCatchers Hair Extensions, according to The Insider.

And just what was Hilton getting? "Full length, 20 inches of extensions....blonde, of course," the DreamCatchers rep told The Insider. When the show asked if Hilton would be taking her new locks out on the town tonight, the rep replied, "wouldn't you?"

The hair-fix house-call contradicts what Hilton told Barbara Walters at the start of her sentence. “I’m not that superficial girl," she said. "I haven’t looked in a mirror since I got here. My purpose in life is to be where I am.”

UsMagazine

It's funny how many people believed in her miracle rebirth. The only thing I believe is that in the next 24 hours, she's going to party, have a drink, and do some cocaine. Any type of cause that she ends up supporting will only be because her PR people planned it for her.

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Well, Paris Hilton is out and everyone is probably still pressing to get that interview with her on her prison experience.

They say she lost about 10 pounds in there so you can expect more celebrities will be trying to go to jail. I'm sure SNL will spoof it and crazy girls across the country will try it too. Watch your local papers.

The heiress was released from prison shortly after midnight on Tuesday. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that Paris lost nearly 10 pounds during her stay, and that on her way out of jail, she stopped to change clothes in a public restroom that "smells rancid."

TMZ

Also, even though the news is trying to get the scoop...one reporter has stood up and said that the story is not important enough to bother. That reporter is Barbara Walters who can literally choose who she wants to interview.

"Look, I've done prison interviews before, but people like the Menendez Brothers were really important news stories," said the creator and cohost of The View. "This wasn't. And even though I'd already written my questions, when all that pay-for-play stuff happened, I suddenly felt this was not up to my standard. It...felt...sort of …tawdry.”

“The whole thing somehow was beneath me," she added.

UsMagazine

Good if you ask me. We don't really need to hear about life in prison from some rich white girl. I've watched movies like Prison Bitches III and Frisk Me Deeply, so I know that it always ends in them having sex with inmates and guards.

Actually, I didn't really watch those movies. My friend watched them. Yeah.

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NBC has canceled their $1 million interview with Paris Hilton saying the never had a deal so there was really nothing to cancel. I'm betting it was the pressure of knowing a lot of people were pissed off about Paris getting that much money for serving time.

It's definately a cover-up. The day after it was announced, so many people were up in arms and news outlets, forums, and blogs all across the interweb went crazy. Now NBC is pulling the old "huh?" tactic to hide their shame.

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Paris Hilton is still scheduled for the Today show (and the One Million Dollar payout) on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, but she did manage a call to Ryan Seacrest and spoke to him about lessons learned.

What's the toughest part about it?

Well, you know, it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to experience in my life and, I don't know, it's just so surreal. It's so crazy. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would've ended up in…At first, I went through so many emotions. You know—anger, upset that all of this happened.

It's a learning experience I'm going to grow from. Just being away from everything…you know, the craziness, the paparazzi. I've had a lot of alone time to think and read and write. Even though it's been horrible and really hard, I think that God makes everything happen for a reason and this is my time to figure out what my purpose is in life. I've really grown from it.

See? She's found God. maybe she's stop being such a little snit to everyone, but I doubt it. Keep reading for more wisdom from behind bars.

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