Celebu-tard Paris Hilton was in Cape Town attending the My Coke Fest concert with boyfriend (sort of) Benji Madden. She was staying at some fancy hotel and she was looking to buy stuff with her almighty American dollar.

A hotel spy tells us: "Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, 'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"

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Would it run away from me. What a dolt. In fact, I am secretly hoping she does get a cheetah so that we'll be greeted with the news that it pulled a Sigfried & Roy on her. Is wishing some to be mauled by a wild hunting cat really that wrong?

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Paris Hilton was chased down by a mob of paparazzi while in Prague with boyfriend Benji Madden they were at a restaurant which "led to hysteria amongst photographers clambering to take her picture, with a major fight breaking out amongst rival snappers."

Paris was chased and then fell and did a face-plant while trying to escape the swarm. Judges on the scene gave it a 7.5 out of 10. You can see a picture of her boo-boo above and a video after the jump of Benji trying to make the paparazzi feel guilty.

Click here to see the Video

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Simona Fusco's breasts popped out (The Superficial)

Justin Chambers is drunk as hell (IDLYITW)

Shannon Elizabeth is okay-ish (HollywoodTuna)

Madonna, what are you thinking? (Derek Hail)

Olsen twins in blurry bikinis (Egotastic)

JC Chasez still in the closet (I'm Not Obsessed)

Paris Hilton looks better this way (The Blemish)

Aniston and Bloom? Doubt it (DListed)

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Paris Hilton is currently in South Africa with Benji Madden like I mentioned yesterday. When asked what she thought about South Africa, Paris replied:

"I love Africa in general - South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries."

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I'm surprised she didn't call it "the South Africa" or something. Just to make it clear Paris, West Africa is actually a region and has about 16 different countries in it (depending on the current political state). Way to represent America you moron.

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Remember when Paris Hilton went to jail and then came out telling everyone she was going to help others and probably go to Africa? Right, she never did that. She realized that there were many people there that were "not hot" and that the climate would be bad for her skin. Turns out that her new guy Benji Madden went there to perform, so she tagged along. Can you say photo op?

US socialite Paris Hilton hugs an unnamed school child from the Jakaranda Kinder Huis school in Pretoria, South Africa, 20 March 2008. Paris confirmed she was in the country with boyfriend Benji Madden as he and his band, Good Charlotte, are to perform at My Coke Fest over the Easter weekend.

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I wouldn't be too proud of her noble gesture though. Benji asked her to come with him to the "Coke Fest" and she thought they were going to get really high for days.

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Paris Hilton has tiny cleavage (HollywoodTuna)

Mischa Barton nude on film (Egotastic)

Christina Aguilera wears lots of makeup (DListed)

Heather Mills dumps water on Paul's lawyer (I'm Not Obsessed)

Sophie Monk and some dude have sex? (Bastardly)

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