Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden the real deal (The Superficial)

Jennifer Aniston's yummy bikini (HollywoodTuna)

Madonna's new album cover (Pink is the New Blog)

Heather Mills snags $48 million (I'm Not Obsessed)

Thomas Jane gets a DUI (DListed)

Heather Locklear is not dead (IDLYITW)

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Ever since Nicole Ritchie had her baby Harlow and Kim Kardashian decided she wants to be famous for nothing on her own, Paris Hilton has felt a void in the BFF department.

So she did what any famewhore worth her salt would do. She went to MTV and got her self a reality show to find a new BFF. Over the next 8 weeks MTV will be taking online submissions and casting for people to compete to be Paris' new BeFri.

The show will be called "I Wanna Be Paris' New BFF" Oh, the lolz you two can have. Days filled with doing nothing and nights of showing oyur vaginas at the hottest clubs in the world.

Shoot over Paris BFF to and see if you've got what it takes to tolerate Paris Hilton for extended period of time. I know I've lost already.

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So I guess Paris Hilton was trying to pass off this actor dude as a real "Buddhist monk"  spiritual advisor. She actually was in league with Ashton Kutcher and that jerkweed punk'd all of us. It's just a bit for a new show.

Turns out, as some outlets later discovered, the "mystic" was an actor named Maxie Santillan Jr., who has appeared on CSI and My Name Is Earl. And though some accused Hilton of getting Punk'd, the joke's on them: The entire scene was staged for a new show from Punk'd producer Ashton Kutcher premiering Sunday on E! (10:30 ET/PT).

Pop Fiction, an eight-episode series, is a prank show targeting paparazzi and gullible media outlets. It's made with the eager help of stars, who were the laughing stocks of Kutcher's former MTV show. This time the shoe's on the other foot, and the series has been kept so tightly under wraps that E!'s own website fell victim to the Hilton hoax and other planted stories

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So now it turns out that Ashton is going to start screwing with us personally because of a few stalkers and some made up stories? That just pisses me off to no end. He better not come near me any time soon, because I'll have you know I'm a badass and could really curse him out if I wanted to.

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As you know, Paris Hilton went to jail and then said she was going to dedicate herself to helping others less fortunate. That was only true if by others she meant herself. Now she's been seen around with her own Buddhist monk, showing she's trying to change her ways.

Paris and her "guru" sat down to read a book called "The Path to the Painted Shaman" and the Hollwood celebrity appeared to be listening intently to what he had to say.

The monk also persuaded Paris to give away a piece of diamond jewellery as they wandered the streets together.

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Whoever she gave that diamond to had better go get that checked because my money is on it being glass. In fact, TMC did some fantastic work and track down that the guy is a fake.

Her "Guru" that has supposedly changed her life is actually a Hollywood actor.

His name is Maxie Santillan. He's starred in tons of films and TV shows including "My Name is Earl" and "Pirates of the Caribbean." According to IMDB, Maxie's latest projects are all in "post production" so clearly he has enough free time to whore it up for Paris.

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I love how Mr. Spiritual says "Burbank can kiss my ass" as his slogan on his MySpace page. Once again it's Paris trying to manipulate everyone. I'm sure now she'll release something to the press about how she was duped by this guy. Whatever.

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Prince Harry forced to come home (The Superficial)

Danielle Lloyd looks squishy (Derek Hail)

Jessica Simpson is pretty without makeup (I'm Not Obssessed)

Cameron Diaz has nice nipples (IDLYITW)

Rihanna is red hot in leather (Egotastic)

Paris Hilton is a skinny skank (DListed)

Justin Timberlake's package in a speedo (Just Jared)

Cheryl Tweedy almost see-thru (HollywoodTuna)

Natalie Portman is sexy during late night (CityRag)

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Well I haven't had one of these in a while. It's not that I don't share the love, it's just been more of a time issue. I'm going to get back in the swing of things though, starting today.

Heidi Klum is topless (IDLYTW)

Julie Benz is niptastic (Bastardly)

Kate Beckinsale strips down (Egotastic)

Paris thinks she's sexy (HollywoodTuna)

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