Oh man! Prepare for a new round of Denise Richards goes ballistic. Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen are going to be having their first child together.

"Brooke informed me two days ago that very soon we'd be producing our own version of Two-and-a-Half Men,'" recalls the Emmy-winning actor, who is already the father to three daughters, Cassandra, 13, Samantha, 4, and 3-year-old Lola. "That would imply it's a boy, so until we know, we'll refer to it as 'Two-and-a-Half People.' We're beyond happy to be new parents together."

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Britney Spears will NOT be doing the VMAs this year, even though we've all been seeing the promo videos, etc. I'm not sure if I should be sad or thankful.

Her manager, Larry Rudolph, told Ryan Seacrest that "Britney will not be performing at the VMAs... I'm telling you officially and unequivocally." The singer is "in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and was never supposed to perform at the show," according to Larry. Fans hoping to catch a glimpse of Brit on stage will just have to hit a Madonna concert, where she shows up in a video montage during the song "Human Nature."

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Paula Abdul is already talking smack about her new co-judge Kara DioGuardi on Fox's American Idol. Anytime someone is worried about stuff like "audience acceptance" is just to chicken to say what they really feel.

On Phoenix's 104.7 KISS FM Johnjay & Rich radio show Monday, she said she was excited but added, "I am concerned about the audience and acceptance. Time will tell. We'll see."

She said producers hired DioGuardi because they "wanted to try a change.

"They always tried for a fourth judge because it followed the format of the original show, Pop Idol," Abdul said. "We haven't had much luck with that working, but we're gonna give it another try."

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David and Victoria Beckham had serious car accident this weekend, but their both fine and thankfully...they have enough money to get a new car.

David was driving their black BMW and reportedly smashed the car laterally into a wall, causing extensive damage to the passenger side of the car. The windscreen was also smashed.

Victoria, who was riding in the passenger seat, was left severely shaken and teary and David was seen embracing her after the accident. However, duty called and David had to catch his flight. So the soccer star raced to the airport with Victoria's father, Tony Adams, while Posh stayed behind with the car wreckage.

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Paula Abdul was a bit confused during last night's American Idol show regarding Jason Castro, who I can't believe is still there. Let me start with my confessionn that just as I mentioned somewhere at the start of the season...I've gotten bored with the show. Tune in to hear them sing songs by Mariah Carey or Andrew Lloyd Webber? I don't think so. Anyway, normally Paula barely gets out a full sentence and seems pretty confused. Last night was no exception.

What the heck was going on last night? With the top five contestants - Jason Castro, David Cook, Brooke White, David Archuleta and Syesha Mercado - each singing two Neil Diamond tunes, Tuesday's altered American Idol format must have thrown Paula Abdul for a loop!

After the contestants sang their first song, the judges had a chance to quickly give their first impressions before the contestants sang a second selection. At this point, a rushed and confused Paula started reading her notes and told Jason, "The second song, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty and the two songs made me feel like you're not fighting hard enough to get into the top four."

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The problem? Jason Castro had only performed once.

Before the show, the two probably had a showdown. Jason slammed a beer and Paula had some of her special orange juice. Jason followed that up an smoked some herb, while Paula headed right for the good prescription stuff and swallowed a few pills. Winner = Paula.

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Did anyone request a new Paula Abdul song? I know I didn't. But, apparently she got the idea that we've missed her and needed a new Paula Jam for '08. She "performed" during the Superbowl (a pre-taped performance to ease her back into live performance).

The song is featured on the new album by her American Idol co-host Randy Jackson titled "Randy Jackson's Musical Club, Vol. 1." If you missed the performance check it out.

What do you think? Are we looking at a Paula Abdul Summer this year?

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Paula Abdul the gift to QVC gets real upset here that she didn't get some free stuff. I think it's funny that she thinks her show on Bravo is a positive thing. It can't be. All the slurring and complete drunk behavior she has is unreal. She keeps claiming she's tired.

Right...

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Now this is actually funny. Paula Abdul got fired from her live-action movie "Bratz," via email. The whole thing was taped on her show "Hey Paula."

Now I've seen like 3 episodes of her show and everyone watching with me is like "what's she on?" She keeps claiming she doesn't drink or do "recreational drugs," but each show she's was looped as hell.

Anyway, the "Bratz" producers told her in the email her that her services are no longer wanted.

She had claimed she was the film's choreographer, costume designer and executive producer. The episode shows perma-victim Abdul screaming, "How can they treat me this way?"

Our source said, "Paula was not ever really a part of the movie, and she was a nightmare to deal with. There was no way that was going to work."

A rep for Lionsgate said, "We love Paula, and we were sorry the partnership wasn't able to come together."

PageSix

No kidding.

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Paula Abdul is clearly under the influence of something in this clip from a Seattle TV station (where I live).

She almost falls out of her chair a few times and rambles like, well...a drunk. Why is it that she keeps doing this type of stuff? I think this is like the 3rd or 4th time, but I believe this is the worst of the bunch. See for yourself.

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