Supposedly Tom Cruise had trouble meeting women after splitting from then-girlfriend Penelope Cruz. Now an ex-Scientologist named Marc Headley is saying Tom called on the power of Xenu and the church to help him capture a new soul find a perspective mate.

So the church sent out a casting call that said, "There's an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition." There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties.

While a few female Scientologists were rounded up - Traffic's Erika Christensen and CSI: Miami's Sofia Milos - they were all rejected as Tom focused his attention on bigger stars. "They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order," Marc says. "Jennifer and Jessica didn't bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn't do a tape..."

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So you hear about some "audition" and then show up and "do a tape" for some stranger? If only they would have asked me, I'd have told them that trick never works and the ladies always freak out. Well, mostly never works. But I digress...we know that the story ends with Tom nabbing Katie Holmes, so did she do a tape for the church? Or is the tape fort Tom? What is a tape for Scientology about anyway? So many questions and no answers.

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Jessica Alba's Oscar cleavage is nice (Bastardly)

Katie Holmes might be pregnant with new alien soul (Superficial)

Brittany Murphy's lips look kind of puffy (IDLYITW)

Rachel Bilson jacked up her hair (HollywoodTuna)

L. Ron Hubbard stole the concept of Scientology (BoingBoing)

And finally, four guys and a lady (I'm Not Obssessed)

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Tom Cruise has taken a bashing in the press regarding his videos where he was speaking about Scientology, bit now a few people have come out to say "Leave Tom Alone!" People like Adam Sandler, Dustin Hoffmen and Ben Stiller have all stepped up to protect Xenu's earthly form.

"To see anyone's private life invaded and mocked like this is sickening," Adam Sandler tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. "It's especially gross when it happens to a guy like Cruise, who's a great dad, a great husband, and a great friend."

Dustin Hoffman, Cruise's Rain Man co-star, tells PEOPLE: "Tom Cruise is an American and has the right to freedom of speech and freedom of religion."

Dan Snyder, the Washington Redskins owner who has a financing deal with Cruise/Wagner Productions, is also defending the star. "Tom is a winner. That's a fact," Snyder writes in an e-mail. "He is a terrific actor, a terrific father and a terrific person. I'm proud to be his friend."

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Sure, he's a great guy who just happens to think he's better then other people. What's not to like?

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This newest video is pretty amazing. Tom Cruise was able to sense lies told by the Environmental Protection Agency in just a split-second using his Scientology powers. He simply thought "outpoint lie" *snaps his fingers* "liar" and that was it. He's freaking amazing! So then he personally started a detox program for 9/11 firefighters and he didn't ask anyone's permission because in his words "we don't need to ask permission, we ARE the authorities."

Take that foolish humans!

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This video is being shown on the Sun UK website from an awards ceremony that the Church of Scientology had where Tom Cruise was given a big medal. He gave a speech in front of a giant symbol of the world which makes the whole even more creepy.

The star, who is rumoured to be one of the top brass in the unorthodox organisation, seems rather manic during the clip, which appears to be filmed at a church meeting.

Hollywood hot property Cruise even salutes a painting of Scientology's founder L RON HUBBARD.

Speaking forcefully the star announces: "These are the times now people. These are the times we will all remember."

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I believe immediately following this speech they took Tom into the back so he could be fitted into his black armor and get his lightsaber, but I can't really back that up. See the video after the jump.

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Just watch this video of Tom Cruise talking about Scientology. I haven't seen that much passion since he was jumping up and down on Oprah's couch. Hurry and check it out though, because I received a bunch of email links today and some of them have been take down already. Who knows how long it will last.

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